Sometimes I get stuck when I want to express what’s on my mind

IN STUDIO

Often, I am preoccupied whether to tone down my message, opinion or thoughts. Other times, I am worried that I am being too passive about certain statements, opinions, and perspectives. Ever since we decided this is a blog format, and no longer a newsletter, I think the pressure has been significantly reduced. I only ever get positive feedback from our readers. Especially, last month.

THIS MONTH, I HAVE WRITTEN TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PIECES, AND THIS MORNING, I THOUGHT, I SHOULD CONTINUE ON THE THEME OF SHAMING.

What is specifically intense when speaking about shaming, is language and culture. Each culture has a diverse emphasis on certain cultural values, and also on wording, and expressing those values, attitudes, norms, and beliefs.

I WANT TO SPEAK ABOUT HOW WE SHAME WOMEN IN OUR CULTURE.

Women shaming here is enormous. It is often subconscious, or perhaps it isn’t seen as a problem..it is in fact presented as factual. People shame women as if it is a fact that this is how women are. To a point, the shaming of women is normalized.

Have you ever heard: ‘women can’t drive?’ ‘when you have too many women together working together, the space becomes a chicken coop.’ ‘women are awful at orientation’ ???? I am sure you have heard many other things too

This weekend, I was leading a retreat in Palava ...

... and had the honor of meeting 8 strong, intelligent and very independent women. They we are all very different from one another, what I saw in them is that they were not afraid to be feminists.

Here, culturally, depending on your age, it is considered a bad thing to be a feminist. If the idea of feminism is only representing the white middle class, upper class woman, then I too am not in accord/aligned with feminism. I don’t actually want to discuss feminism. I want to discuss how we as a culture shame women. It really breaks my heart that so many women do it to one another. Instead of celebrating each other, we put each other down. Instead of creating a space for difference, we shame the difference.

I GOTTA SAY, THAT I WAS NOT RAISED IN SUCH A GENDERED SOCIETY. I ALWAYS FELT FULLY CONFIDENT AS A GIRL. I DIDN’T FEEL LESS CAPABLE AS A WOMAN.

I for sure felt sexually objectified especially here in Europe. My male peers in my early twenties, in Czechland, had a very specific idea about what women can do, shouldn’t do, can look like, say, and all the things under the sky...I was shocked really. Because I was free. I felt equal to them(the guys). They didn’t see me equally. Not only that, the women also fell into the pattern of speaking of other women poorly.

All of this is an enormous can of worms to open.

I often feel like it is taboo to speak about the controversial real issues in our society...that too is shamed.

Of course I am curious, one of the first things that people say is ‘well who do you hang out with? My people don’t speak like this, behave like this, are not like this’ Therefore absolving themselves of any responsibility or accountability. If we allow people to shame others, because they are different, then we are supporting that view. It doesn’t magically disappear.

Attitudes change, because those attitudes are confronted, and worked on. They don’t just vanish. How can we be more mindful, kind and caring when we are speaking about people who are different? Yogis, are taught that we are all one. This is one of the main philosophical principals of Yoga. We are ONE. This does not mean we are all the same. So how do we allow for all these differences to exist, without shaming?

If we are all part of the same value system then we can more easily apply this worldview. We don’t all value the same things. So learning to be mindful when we speak doesn’t come naturally to some.

One of the reasons why I believe in reducing SHAMING or eliminating it, is because it works on dismantling hierarchy, it can also chip away at patriarchy, racism, agism, ablism, and the EGO. It shifts the power. It takes a lot of practice, and it really needs to be a collective en mass movement, so that the next generation is different.

The next generation is already going to be different, but the previous generation doesn’t have to hold on to ‘how things used to be’, because maybe that was not serving freedom for all. Currently, we are living in a very divided time, of haves and have nots. The separation is enormous. Yoga is also very fluent in discussing connection. It is about unity rather then separation

All of our attitudes need major reevaluation.

We as a group have so much to really fight for now. We need to stay united, not divided. As the planet needs our attention, and we have to step down from our high horses, we can together achieve much more then when we are divided.

MEANWHILE, WE ARE ALL LOVE. WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF LOVE, AND WE NEED TO REPRESENT OUR VIEW FROM THIS PRECISE PLACE OF LOVE, RESPECT, AND KINDNESS.

This is what you can also observe on your mat. Are you loving, and kind? Or are you competitive, and stern? How is your expression? How is your breath? Are you aware of those around you? How do you practice love?

I think shaming is outdated. It is something like diesel...coal. It is something like white supremacy, it is something like misogyny, fat shaming, it’s time for us to change our attitudes. To learn to behave from the heart, to show that jealousy doesn’t create freedom, love, nor kindness...it is the opposite in fact.

This coming autumn is going to be very intense.

It is a good idea, to take a moment on your mats, in your chairs, and where ever you are right now. Take a moment and reflect how you love. Is it possible to love more? Is it possible for you to feel love? So many of the most inspiring people in my life, always remind me to go from that place, and to be fierce, just, and kind. I offer it to you, not just here, but in classes and retreats, in my friendships too. Let’s be united for what is coming.

LOVE YOU C